How often have you found yourself paralyzed by the ‘what if’ questions swirling in your mind?

“What if…”—is a phrase every self-doubter knows all too well. Well actually, scratch that. “What if…” isn’t just something self-doubters say; it’s a question we all live with. I bet you’ve used this phrase before, haven’t you?

Have you ever taken the time to think about the impact this phrase has on your mental health? Though it only consists of two simple, words, its effect can be huge. it fuels anxiety, self-doubt, and endless worry. It keeps you trapped in a cycle of fear, holding you back from living fully in the present.

What If…

…They Don’t Like Me?

This question is one I use most often. It’s about wanting to fit in or gain approval from others just to be accepted. But this leads to you not being your authentic self, instead you are trying to be someone you’re not. Here’s the truth: in a world of billions, not everyone will like you, just like you won’t like everyone. And that’s perfectly okay.

When you’re focused on the fear of not being liked, you’re holding yourself back before you even try. You might avoid new opportunities or stick to your comfort zone just to dodge the risk of rejection. This defensive mode can keep you from reaching your full potential and truly experiencing life.

How about looking at it from a different angle?

What matters most is how you view yourself. Your self-worth isn’t tied to external approval; it comes from within. As challenging as it might be, you’re always present in your life—you can’t escape from yourself. If someone doesn’t like you, so what? You don’t have to see them again if you don’t want to. Focus on valuing yourself and let go of the need for others’ validation.

Also, ask yourself this: How do you know they don't like you? Have they said it to your face? If yes, that’s their opinion, and it's time to move on. If not, why are you setting yourself up for unnecessary worry?

…I Fail?

By saying this, you’re automatically setting yourself up for failure. When you think or say you’ll fail, you’re sending a message to your brain that failure is inevitable. And guess what happens? You end up proving yourself right.

Failure is the path to success. Think about how many successful people—like Thomas Edison, who famously failed hundreds of times before perfecting the lightbulb—turned their failures into stepping stones.

But what if you flipped the script?

Instead of asking, “What if I fail?” try asking, “What if I succeed?” When you focus on the possibility of success, you feel more motivated to give it your all.

Try this small exercise: Say this sentence to yourself three times."What if I fail?"
Now, say this three times: "What if I succeed?"

Did you notice a difference in how you felt? I tried this too, and by asking myself, about if I could succeed I felt lighter and more motivated, compared to the weight of asking, “What if I fail?”

…I miss out on something better?

When you’re constantly worried about what you might be missing out on, you lose sight of what’s right in front of you. FOMO, or the fear of missing out, is more common than ever. In fact, according to Roberts (Baylor University), approximately 75% of young adults struggle with this feeling.

With people sharing every moment of their ‘amazing’ lives on social media, it’s easy to get caught up in comparing yourself and feeling like you’re missing out on something better. But in doing so, you might overlook the value of what you already have.

By staying open to the moment, you allow yourself to fully engage with life as it happens. This openness can lead to unexpected opportunities and joys that you might have missed if you were too busy worrying about what else is out there.

Your life is happening now, don’t miss it by worrying about what others are doing

mental being

…I never find someone who loves me?

Love is something most of us long for—whether it’s love from family, friends, pets, children, or a partner. But to truly love and be loved is a rare experience, one that many people never fully know. I love my family, and I know they love me, but that kind of love feels different from the love I imagine sharing with someone special.

I am someone who often gets attention for their looks, but not for my personality, and personality is way more important than looks. As I have never had a boyfriend and never have been close to having one, it makes me wonder if I am worthy of love. Because of this, I pity myself causing my self-esteem to drop, and though I am young I feel like already giving up.

What if You Could Flip Your Mindset?

I’ve only mentioned a few common “what if” questions, but there are so many more that can pop into our minds. It’s important to recognize these thoughts, write them down, and then take a closer look at them. How can you turn them from self-doubt into something more positive?

Maybe you’ll decide to keep the “what if” at the beginning but simply change the sentence that follows. For example, instead of saying “What if they don’t like me?” you could ask yourself, “What if they do like me?”

Another way to shift this into a more positive light, using the same example, could be:

"Maybe they’ll like me for who I am."
"It’s possible they’ll like me just as I am."
"They could actually like me more than I expect."
"I’ll focus on being myself, and they may like me for it."
"I’ll be authentic, and they might really like me for it."

By consciously reframing these “what if” questions, you can turn self-doubt into opportunities for confidence and growth. Remember, the way you frame your thoughts shapes your reality. By choosing to see the possibilities instead of the pitfalls, you pave the way for a more fulfilling and joyful life.

Now it’s your turn—what ‘what if’ questions have been holding you back? Share them in the comments below, and let’s work together to turn them into powerful affirmations.