I thought I would never be able to go travelling again.
The thought of leaving the comfort of my own four walls—eating at restaurants, food shopping, not understanding the language, and having my routines disrupted—terrified me.
If you’re in the same boat, please know you’re not alone. My fears once consumed me too. And yet, here I am, writing this blog for you after returning from a lovely trip to Mallorca with my family.
I’ll share my fears, challenges, and wins, all while continuing to grow and learn in ED recovery. I hope my experience can offer comfort and a sense of peace.
I’ll also share some of my travelling tips for ED recovery in an upcoming blog, so stay tuned!
Travelling Fears & Big Wins
Travelling for the first time since long before COVID was, at first, a terrifying thought. Because of my eating disorder, I’ve developed routines I feel safe sticking to.
For example, when I eat, when I walk, when I sit, and even when I allow myself to speak after a meal.
Anorexia can make you do things that make you later think…
‘what the…?!’
Facing My Travel Fears
The first challenge was flying alone for the first time from Berlin airport.
I’d flown between Germany and England before, but this was different. This time, I was heading to a completely new country alone. The flight to Mallorca was about 1.4 times longer than I usually take between England and Germany.
But that was only the beginning. Many moments pushed against every safety behavior I’d built up over the years.
Eating Out for the First Time
The place we were staying at wasn’t exactly ideal for cooking. Meal prepping would have taken too much time and it was way too hot to even think about it.
So, for lunch… I ate out.
It was my mum’s idea. She said she was just so grateful to have me back, not the eating disorder, but me.
On that very first day, I was faced with 2 of my biggest fear foods. A burger with chips.
My hand was shaking, but the first thing I grabbed for wasn’t the salad; it was a chip.
And Oh God was it delicious!
After that, I ended up having a burger three times out of the five lunches we ate out.
Challenge. Repeat. Start again.
The Routine Struggles
I like a routine.
My routines help me stay on track, making sure that I’m not only meeting my own needs but also those of my eating disorder. (It’s something I’m still working on)
It confused my brain walking at times when I’m normally sitting or standing still, during times I’d usually be out on a walk. I was able to control it at times, but it wasn’t always possible.
My struggles were obvious for everyone to see.
In moments like that, something that helps me is reminding myself that:
- I don’t need to do the same number of steps every day
- My body won’t notice a difference
- I can spend a more relaxed time with my family
What also helped was reminding myself that I am not my eating disorder. I can make my own decisions without its influence.
I hope these mindsets can help you too. Or maybe you have your own that you’d like to share.
Rediscovering Foods
As you now know, I like my routines. This also includes the food I eat and when I eat it. If I find something I like, I tend to stick to it, but over time, it can become both competitive and boring.
Being in a different country and away from my usual comfort foods, I was forced to try new things—and I don’t regret a single bite. It showed me just how far I’ve come and that stepping outside of my comfort zone can lead to beautiful, happy memories.
Some foods I rediscovered: anchovies (heavenly!), lemon sorbet, mango ice cream (both with unknown ingredients and calories!), strawberries, grapes, fish in general, and pastries. Some new foods I tried: papaya (I heard it’s supposed to help get your period back!) and locally made garlic mayo. Trying new foods can be challenging, but it also opens up space for little wins—moments where you prove to yourself that fear doesn’t have to make the rules anymore.
Since we ate out for lunch, it was always uncertain how long it would take for our orders to be taken and the food to arrive. So, panicking old me sat there waiting, with slight tears in my eyes, until the food finally came. The latest I ate was about 30 minutes later than usual!
Even though challenging your eating schedule can be a healthy step, this was something I didn’t enjoy at all. But honestly, you never know how it will feel until you’ve tried.
My Only Advice For You
Don’t not do it.
It really is that simple. We can get so caught up in what might go wrong that we forget about all the good moments we could be living instead.
If you’re feeling anxious about travelling during recovery, please remember this: every small win—every meal, every mindset shift, every challenge you face—is a step closer to freedom.
You’re not just surviving—but fighting back. You’re showing up and beating anorexia’s ass (or whatever mental illness you’re facing). And that is worth everything.
✨ I’d love to hear from you.
Have you travelled during recovery? Where did you go? How did it feel to be abroad again?
What challenges did you face—and what wins are you proud of?
Let’s support each other, share our stories, and remind ourselves we’re not alone. ?
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