Eating Disorder: Revealing 5 Reasons Not To Hate It

Me: What is the point of hating your eating disorder?

You: Maybe it is because it has caused me so much pain, sadness, and arguments. Or perhaps because it robbed the joy and spontaneity that makes my life rich and fulfilling.

Though hating your eating disorder can be a powerful motivator for change, hating it isn’t going to change anything. What will make a difference is accepting and moving on.

Giving your eating disorder too much headspace means that it is winning. Not giving it the hateful attention, on the other hand, means that it is losing

MentalBeings

Since beginning in ‘real’ recovery, I have hated my eating disorder. It took away my chance to become a fashion designer. I lost friends and missed out on making new ones.

My eating disorder kept me from being with my family and apart from the guy I liked. It caused me to miss out on life and inflicted inner damage. Most of all, I hate it for wasting five years of my life locked up in hospitals.

But you know what I hate the most? The fact that I hate it.

In this blog, I will be sharing the reasons why hating your eating disorder is worthwhile and why accepting what has happened is important for further recovery.

When you hate something, it owns a part of your mind

MentalBeings

Reason 1: My eating disorder made me weak so that I can come back stronger

The past years of my life have been filled with pain and misery. My eating disorder didn’t just affect me; it took a greater toll on my family.

It drained me of my power and will.

If you are aware of your illness, you will understand that an eating disorder is an internal and external misery maker. However, if you’re still blindfolded by your eating disorder and unable to see the misery and damage, it’s time to open your eyes.

I have felt weak and tired for too long now.

As I slowly reclaim my life, I am regaining my strength—not just the strength I had before my eating disorder, but a new, greater strength.

In my family, we say that I have been to hell and back, which is so true. I have seen death and I have seen pain, but these experiences have strengthened me.

I AM STRONG.

Reason 2: My eating disorder showed me gratitude

You are probably asking yourself why feel grateful, for having an eating disorder after it took so much away from me.

You see, since my eating disorder took so much away, I can be grateful for those things when I reclaim them from it. For example, I have always loved nature, but in recovery, I have started to love it even more.

Nature’s beauty and fresh air were taken away from me, having been in hospital for so many years. If you want to find out more about what a day in a life in hospital looks like, click here.

Another example is something my ladies will hopefully agree on, the loss of our periods.

When I had my period, especially in summer, I would always complain. Complain about wearing a pad. Complaint that it had to come during summer. Complaint at times when it was stronger.

But now that I have lost it, I miss it.

One day, I want to have children, and without my period, that isn’t possible. I know that wanting children isn’t for everyone, but we can still feel grateful for our bodies for working the way they should. And that we have a healthy home for us—our bodies.

I am grateful to be able to see my family. To have another shot at life. To be able to study in a hotel, like my parents did. I am grateful that I can enjoy summer this year, and that I can swim in the sea without shivering my ass off.

I AM GRATEFUL.

Reason 3: Meeting Amazing People in Eating Disorder Clinics

Over the years, I’ve met so many amazing people in eating disorder hospitals. Since we all understood what each one of us was going through, we became each other’s biggest supporters.

The staff in the hospitals were also incredible, but nothing beats the understanding that comes from having experienced an eating disorder first-hand.

There wasn’t always a positive vibe between the patients, but we all knew not to take it personally.

We understood that it was the eating disorder affecting our behaviours.

However, in the Klinik am Korso, we all got along so well. We were honestly like a family of strangers.

Since we were in a group, we did everything together: therapy, activities, meals, etc. The most amazing person I met there was my roommate, who has since become my best friend.

I am so grateful to have her in my life.

I FEEL CONNECTED

Reason 4: Rediscovering Self-Care

My eating disorder taught me the importance of self-care. Instead of ignoring my body, I now give it the attention it needs.

Rather than damaging it, I embrace it, providing it with rest, nutrition, and the care it deserves.

Before, my self-care routine was minimal, limited to basic hygiene like showering and brushing my teeth. However, during my second hospital admission, I set a goal to practice more comprehensive self-care.

This included creaming my body every evening and starting my mornings by washing my face and applying Nivea, the best cream out there.

Through these small but meaningful routines, I’ve learned to cherish and nurture my body, fostering a healthier and more positive relationship with myself.

Reason 5: Becoming Independent

Since being out of the hospital, I have gained so much independence. I knew that returning home to my old environment wouldn’t be beneficial for my mental well-being, so I started a new chapter.

Instead of going home, I moved into a shared flat (WG). It was challenging to be away from my family and to live with strangers, but it helped me become more independent.

There were many bumps along the way, but it was all a learning curve. Now, I am living in my own flat! I honestly never thought this day would come.

Even though I have become more independent, I still call and text my parents about a million times a day for advice. I love and miss my family.

Instead of hate, I Embrace

This blog really made me think of everything that my eating disorder gave me. These are only 5 of the reasons, but there are so many more!

I encourage you to reflect on what your eating disorder has given you in recovery. Maybe you could write down the things you have achieved or how your eating disorder may have helped you grow.

When you hate something, it owns a part of your mind. Instead, focus on what you’ve gained and how far you’ve come.

Embracing the lessons and growth from your eating disorder can be a powerful step toward healing and self-acceptance. Let’s continue this journey together, supporting and uplifting one another.

I AM GRATEFUL, I AM STRONG, I FEEL CONNECTED, I EMBRACE SELF-CARE, AND I AM INDEPENDENT.

Thank you for reading and supporting this journey. Remember, recovery is possible, and you are never alone xx